Equal Rights

Dear Indigna,

I read an Associated Press story (3/17/06) that Australian strippers have won the right to “overtime, rest periods, meal breaks and maternity leave” among other benefits like vacation pay. Now, I am a male stripper and am anatomically incapable of bearing children. Shouldn’t I have the right to take six weeks off every ten months or so? I am clearly being discriminated against because of my gender, mate!

Barbie Shrimp
Queensland, AU

Dear Barbie,

“Anatomically incapable?” Listen, Shrimp, although none of the men of my acquaintance have borne children, preferring to leave that task to their poor, overburdened wives, I happen to know that at least two male Hollywood actors have become mothers and have made movies about it! Haven’t you heard of “Mr. Mom” (Michael Keaton) and “Junior” (Arnold Schwarzenegger)? If you shirk your solemn duty to make your customers pop a woodie, you’d better have your own bun in the oven mister!