"Pranks"

Dear Indigna,

I am deeply, deeply offended that those boys in Alabama who burned all those churches claim that it was “just a prank that got out of hand.” Should they be sentenced to death?

Grieving
Selma, AL

Dear Grieving,

I, too, am offended to my core by these boys' behavior, and they do deserve severe punishment. I’m grateful that my own children never committed crimes like this. Their pranks were all benign, boys-will-be-boys stuff. For instance, they loved to drive down a road at high speed with a baseball bat and destroy every mailbox in a neighborhood. What a chuckle for all the neighbors when they woke up in the morning! The only structures they burned down were things like all the little kids’ backyard playhouses on this one block. And they were so creative! Like, this one time they gathered up all the small dogs and cats on the street and put them into this gigantic burlap bag. Then they hung the bag up in a tree as a homemade piñata! Unfortunately, one of the neighbors ruined all the fun by wrestling away the golf club before the kids could make the “prizes” tumble out.