Focus!

Dear Indigna,

My firm was recently hired to run a focus group to evaluate some products. My job was to recruit participants. Yet I could not get a single soccer mom to participate, even though I told them they could keep whichever of the sex toys they liked best! What was my mistake? Should I have offered them two vibrators? The dildo of their choice? What is the going price for a suburban stay-at-home mom to be videotaped "testing" the Orgasminator?

Frustrated (but Satisfied)
Berkeley, CA

Dear Cheapskate,

Why should you have all the fun? If these ladies are going to be enticed to star in your video they should at least get scale or a percent of the back-end--no pun intended! But I think your biggest mistake here is in thinking you're going to get so-called "accurate" information from this focus group. These ladies fake orgasms for complete economic support. What makes you think you'll get the real thing in exchange for a lousy plastic toy that makes even worse noises than their husbands?

As for me, I was recently paid $150 to test an ass-cleaning device, but then again, I'm a whore.