Holiday

Dear Indigna,

Republican Supervisor Fred Gold of Warminster, PA sent around an e-mail with a topless photo that I think might be of me “promoting Jan. 15 as ‘Breast Appreciation Day,’” accompanied by the comment, “Beats . . . Martin Luther King Day, doesn't it?" Should he resign?

His Humiliated Wife
Warminster, PA

Dear Wife,

I suggest you counterattack with an email promoting “Dickbrain Sympathy Day” to show support for your husband’s condition, along with a separate email urging a national holiday on “Penis Enlargement Day” with a photo of your husband’s other debilitating defect.