Marlboro Man

Dear Indigna,

I read recently that this young local soldier, who had achieved a degree of "fame" from a photo of his weary, dirt-smeared face, barely dangling a cigarette from his lips, complained that he couldn't afford to give his fiancée a fancy wedding. A couple who read of his plight donated a $15,000 wedding to the couple. This lovely gesture was rewarded by the couple's separation and subsequent divorce just nine days after the big event.

My question is, whose priorities are completely screwed up?

Not Sure Who to Make Fun Of
Pikeville, KY

Dear Not Sure,

I blame the so-called "donors." Their piss-poor attempt to create what they thought was a "dream" wedding was clearly inadequate. If they had only coughed up for the Vera Wang gown, Fiji honeymoon, and house down-payment, those young lovers would still be together.