Al-Zarqawi

Dear Indigna,

Many people are wondering how Abu Musab al-Zarqawi could possibly have survived the bombs dropped on the house he was visiting the other day, especially when no one else in the house did. What's your theory?

Conspiracy Theorist
Bozeman, MT

Dear Conspiracy,

This one is incredibly simple. The guy is (was) obviously a giant cockroach. The only way to kill those things is to squash them, preferably with two 500-lb. bombs.