Where's W'Indigna?

Dear Indigna,

Where the hell have you been? You haven't posted in, like, a week! Fucking slacker.

Bored
Boring, MD

Dear Bore,

Because I bungled the proper salute at an appearance by President Bush, he personally gifted me with an all-expenses-paid "adventure" vacation in Cuba, complete with all the so-called "Geneva-free" activities such as being drenched with cold water and beaten while a guy wearing a mask screamed, "What's the frequency, Kenneth?"