Sunday, May 07, 2006

Clean Plate Club

Dear Indigna,

A family in Urbandale, IA has been banned from a local “all-you-can-eat” buffet restaurant because, according to the manager, they “waste too much food.” The proprietors complained that these customers would pile up a plate, take one bite, throw the rest away and then return for more. I understand that the manager actually told the complaining woman that “it is folly to waste while hungry women and children don't have enough to eat.” Is this a legal reason to toss someone out of a restaurant?

Hungry Heifer
Hippo, KY

Dear Hungry,

C’mon. What do you expect when you eat at a place called “Mom’s”? I call this an example of truth in advertising. My house, my rules, like it or lump it. If you don’t finish, you won’t be a member of the Clean Plate Club of America! Fine then. If you won’t eat what’s on your plate you can just go to bed hungry like the starving children in Africa, or the starlets in Los Angeles. And don’t give me any of your lip! Maybe next time your eyes won’t be bigger than your stomach. That’ll be $5.95.

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