Sunday, April 30, 2006

Birthday

Dear Indigna,

My 50th birthday is tomorrow, and as we are on an exceptionally tight budget I asked my husband if, for my gift, he and my children would relieve me for the day of my usual household tasks, which, as a homemaker, I am responsible for seven days a week, 365 days a year, including Christmas and Thanksgiving. I am asking nothing more of them than cleaning up after meals, picking up the den, and folding laundry (I’ve already washed the clothes beforehand). He said no, he had too much to do. Am I justified in feeling somewhat, just the tiniest bit, unappreciated?

His Girl
Danville, CA

Dear His (at 50, you are certainly not a “Girl”!!!),

Absolutely not! Here you are, with a husband who is still married to you, and children who still live with you and even speak to you! Jeez Louise, you’re luckier than 90% (at least!) of the folks who write to me! I hope you lick the floors clean with your tongue and clean the grout with your fingernails, if that’s what it takes to keep yer man. Next time you even dream of not cleaning up the kitchen, folding the laundry, or picking up the den, motivate yourself by imagining the nubile twenty-year-old who would willingly do it, and much, much more--stuff that would nauseate you--never imagining what her life will be like twenty or thirty years hence.

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