Terrorist Split

Dear Indigna,

There is speculation that Osama bin Laden and Ayman Zawahri may have separated. True?

Mildly Intrigued
Dinosaur, CO

Dear Mild,

It is true; I understand that Ayman has moved out of Osama’s cave, although apparently no legal filings have been made. It’s possible that it’s just an unusually heated argument or it may be something more serious. There are rumors that Osama, who has traditionally played the husband’s role in their same-sex union, is jealous of Ayman’s increasing visibility and outspokenness, and feels his “wife’s” career is threatening to eclipse his own. A lot of these famous guys just can’t handle that. For the time being, let’s respect them and give them privacy to try to work things out for themselves. If and when they do file for divorce, I’m sure we will be the first to know. You just can’t keep a lid on a juicy celebrity split.