History

Dear Indigna,

The Bush administration continues to insist that Iraq is not engaged in a civil war. Surely they can’t be serious!

Realist
Washington, D.C.

Dear “Realist,”

It depends on what the meaning of “is” is. Just kidding!

Seriously, get “real.” There is no civil war there. So Shiites and Sunnis are killing each other, well, far more people are killed on our highways and interstates every day! Does that mean we are in a civil war?

Now, the folks saying these things about Iraq are probably the same folks who would have you believe that our country--the U.S.A.--actually was engaged in a so-called “Civil War” sometime in the 19th century! Now, that’s just hogwash. We all know how a few bad seeds, some low-ranking, poorly trained troops and a handful of high-spirited college boys sometimes let a prank get out of control. Antietam, Gettysburg, they really didn’t mean for those things to happen. Who are you gonna believe, me or some ancient manuscript probably written in hopes that the writer would get famous or a medal or something, or be elected President?

And that "French Revolution" rumor, puh-leeze! Who on earth would rise up against a monarch that recommended brioche, a delicate cake-like pastry made with sugar, eggs and white flour, instead of your usual diet of thistles, tree bark and rats, spit-roasted and thinly sliced using a sharp kitchen implement called a “guillotine”?