Sunday, April 16, 2006


Dear Indigna,

I volunteer forty hours a week at my child’s school, yet no matter how much I do, they ask for more. Not only that, but I get complaints about how a job was done! I also work two paying jobs to afford the tuition, leaving me only 48 hours a week in which to care for my child, shop, cook, clean and sleep.

Now, I feel perfectly awake because of my amphetamine intake, but my question is, does my perception of alertness mean it is safe for me to drive my child around on 7-14 hours’ sleep a week?

Sir Speedy
Santa Cruz, CA

Dear Sir,

I think the bigger question is, why are you getting complaints about the quality of your volunteer work at school? Have you committed to things that are ill-suited to your skills? Are you leaving things to the last minute? Have you overestimated the level of your abilities? Are you sure your speed dosage is adequate to your needs? Be honest here; perhaps you’re just a loser who wants to show off by volunteering for everything but isn’t really qualified to take on more than the pledge of allegiance, if that. No offense, but your slacker attempts to “contribute” probably do your charity-case child more harm than good, reinforcing the stereotype that there is a reason why folks like you have to work two jobs while the rest of us pay tuition out of pocket change.


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