Plans

Dear Indigna,

I just read an item in the Washington Post that says Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has completed plans for “military operations where the United States is not at war.” According to this article, the Pentagon no longer needs “approval” from the American ambassador in the region “before conducting military operations in a foreign country.” According to sources in the know, the plan also suggests that “another [terrorist] attack [on the U.S.] could create both a justification and an opportunity that is lacking today to retaliate against some known targets.” Sounds like the Rummy is just salivating for another “justification.” Should I pee my pants?

Already Did
Wetwang With Fimber, Yorkshire, England

Dear Wetwang,

You poufty Brits just don’t see the brilliance of the American military strategists. Would you rather we did all this stuff secretly, as in the Reagan Administration? No, now we openly plan to engage in covert ops without the knowledge or consent of the Congress, the people, or even the Ambassador of the country to which we are dispatching black helicopters to engage in “extraordinary rendition,” targeted assassination, and/or dropping bombs on weddings, as well as other tasty treats from the “menu of options for the military,” which will be handed to you as you enter the Pentagon lunchroom.

As for the question of "justification," that's just psy-ops for the public.