Friday, June 09, 2006

The Hard Stuff

Dear Indigna,

I recently changed jobs and got new insurance. Since then, the insurance has refused to pay for any of my prescription medication (Zyrtec for allergies, Zithromycin--Zithromycin!!--for my daughter's bronchitis, etc.). The excuse? "It's not on the formulary." So I gotta lug this list with me to the doctor and say, "whatever I got, you can only prescribe one of these drugs." What gives? How can they say I have (expensive!) "health insurance" when they don't cover the cures??

Sneezy and Wheezy
Danville, CA

Dear Sneezy,

Like I've said before, in the immortal words of Don Corleone, "It's just business." Listen, if they gave you an antibiotic any time you had a bacterial infection it would just encourage you to come back for more. We know how these things progress. As for "allergies," snap out of it! So you can't drive because of your tearing eyes. Hey, driving is a privilege, not a right! So you can barely breathe because of your reduced lung capacity. People have lived for thousands of years with the same problems and we're still here, aren't we? Plus, why not try those over-the-counter medications? What's that you say? They "don't work for you"?! Listen, Miss "Princess and the Pea," maybe you just need to just toughen up a bit.

As for your daughter, what kind of message are you sending her? That anything that's "wrong" can be solved with drugs? Wake up, woman! Don't you have a clue? Go down to the Tenderloin in San Francisco or Skid Row in L.A. and see what drugs do to people! Sure, it seems innocuous--start with a little Zithromax for your bronchitis, a little Erythromycin for your ear infection and pretty soon you're mainlining Claritin and relying on Lisipronil to control your blood pressure! And don't get me started on the "hard stuff" (chemotherapy). Listen, the insurance company is just looking out for your health--and that of your daughter. Isn't that what counts? As long as it doesn't cost too much?

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