Suspicion Season

Dear Indigna,

My new neighbor, who has only boys, just asked me for the birthdates of my girls. Should I give her this information?

Suspicious Neighbor
Poughkeepskie, NY

Dear Suspicious,

Clearly, her boars are in rut. She’s probably trying to find out if your girls have reached maturity and are in season. It seems obvious that she’s looking for suitable bitches to mate with her boys. Congratulations, it sounds like your girls made the cut!