Election Night

Dear Indigna,

I can't believe that the Democrats took control of the House! What will they invade next?? Where can I move to be safe from their liberal thinking?

Conservative Republican
Middle America, USA

Dear Conservative,

The conservative Republican ideal is to "shrink government until it can be drowned in the bathtub," right? So you should be right at home in places that have achieved non-existent government like Iraq, Afghanistan, or Darfur. Like our conservative administration, the chief executives in those countries do not make any attempt to impinge on the lives of their constituents by deigning to "improve" conditions for them, nor do they interfere with individuals' desire to impose their values, way of life, or tribal or racial preferences upon their neighbors. Sounds about "right" to me.