Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Gods' Girl

Dear Indigna,

I have a moral dilemma which only you can help me with. While getting gas at Wal-Mart today I saw a pickup truck with a decal on the rear window depicting a Christian cross with the caption "Gods' girl." If not for the cross I would have thought her a pagan-infidel. The vehicle was unattended -- maybe she was inside paying -- and the place was pretty crowded, so I didn't hunt her down and point out the error in punctuation. Should I have?

Krischun Mann
Live Oak, FL

Dear Evildoer,

As for me, I fear for your soul. It was, in fact, your moral duty to "hunt down" the person (or demon) responsible for this blasphemy. "Gods' girl" clearly is a polytheist, as God would never allow one of his "girls" to imply that He shares. Either that or she is taunting God with blatant cheating with other Gods.

Furthermore, the implication that illiterate persons might take from this inscription is that God (rather than "Gods") likes "girls," which would throw a wrench into our concept that God is (a) asexual and (b) if not, would prefer adult women.

Further-furthermore, you shirked your Christian duty by being a tightwad. Hellooo, Wal-Mart sells hunting rifles! God clearly put this provocation in your sight to see if you had the balls to do the necessary thing in the War Against Infidels (or people whose poor punctuation skills put them on God's "Shit List"). What, your credit limit is reached? You're broke? C'mon, Mann! God is your co-pilot, or something. He'll "pick up the tab," somehow, eventually! Or don't you believe enough???

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