Human Rights

Dear Indigna,

I see that the United States has declined to be a member of the U.N. Human Rights Council! Why on Earth would our government take such a position??

Flabbergasted
Washington, D.C.

Dear Flabbergasted,

It’s all part of the Bush administration’s push for animal rights. The thinking is that if we treat humans the way we treat animals, people will “get it” and support organizations like People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). For example, people like to keep pets, i.e., imprison them without the right of habeas corpus. Hence, Guantanamo Bay and other “undisclosed” locations where humans are, likewise, kept as “pets.” The government also opposes animal testing, so it has instituted the practice of “torture” on certain select “pets,” or, as the administration calls it, “interrogation product development.” The strategy of increased taxation on the lowest earners of our society is an analog of “milking cows” or “shearing sheep.” Finally, most domestic animals have little or no privacy, even to the point of being monitored during that most intimate of daily rituals, the potty break. The NSA thinks its program to wiretap and monitor Americans without warrants should teach us a lesson about such surveillance! Being on the “Human Rights Council” would place us in the speciesist camp, wouldn’t it?