Hot Chick

Dear Indigna,

Reuters reported today that human body parts were found in the home of a stripper. Yet she was only charged with "improper disposition of human remains"! How do they know she didn't murder those people? Why else could she have had that severed hand and six skulls lying around?

Fearful John
Buttzville, NJ

Dear "John,"

You've obviously never taken that ho--pardon me, "exotic dancer"--back to her place. She's clearly a real "maneater." If you just "give her a hand," she will literally "blow your mind"! Imagine what she'd do for an arm and a leg! Sure, she's pricy, but you're not hearing any complaints from those other six guys now are you?